I recently stumbled upon this quote: "Where purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable." Powerful. And not in an "abuse" abuse way. To me, abuse includes self-loathing..
As many of you have read over the years, I am on a constant mission to find my purpose. I know that I am smart and am still able to do complex algebra ;-) but I have never gotten anywhere careerwise, and that just continues to eat away at me.
A year spent in medical assisting school did nothing to solve the problem. I do work related to my diploma on a sporadic per diem basis. Do I truly enjoy it? sometimes. Has it given me a sense of purpose? probably not.
I am also substituting on a regular basis. That is semi-fulfilling especially when I receive a compliment from a student or teacher. I am quickly becoming one of the "go to" subs.
All is well with that except I know there is so much more that I could be doing :-( lack of proper degree keeps getting in the way and I have no intention of going back to get another degree as I am rapidly closing in on age 50 and do not need the extra stress..
Do you feel fulfilled in your purpose as a wife and mom - without having a purpose outside of that? Is this something I can ever come to terms with?
Seeing people who are not necessarily the brightest in positions I know I have the intelligence to do - exept that I don't have the right degree makes me want to scream. (my degree is in Business Admin - very broad - too broad!)
It is probably time to cut back on Facebook. Sometimes I'd rather not know what people are doing. I believe in those studies where there is a correlation between time spent on Facebook and an increased downward mood spiral!
Will my frustration with my lack of accomplishment continue to eat away at me? Will my self-loating always be a constant in my life?
Does anyone else feel the same way?